I Went Alone, But I Came Back Different!

I Went Alone, But I Came Back Different!

Bali, Phuket & Bangkok: The Journey That Awakened Something in Me

There is a difference between taking a vacation and taking a journey.

A vacation gives you a break from your everyday life. A journey has the ability to introduce you to a part of yourself that your everyday life has kept too busy to meet.

My first solo international trip took me thousands of miles away from everything familiar—to Bali, Indonesia; Phuket, Thailand; and Bangkok, Thailand. I left home excited about seeing the world. I returned home realizing that somewhere along the way, I had also rediscovered me.

And I don’t think that was an accident.

The Moment I Realized: Girl, You Are Really Doing This

There is something incredibly powerful about boarding an international flight ALONE!

No familiar person sitting beside you. No one else responsible for the itinerary. No one to automatically answer the questions, figure out the transportation, check the currency conversion, or decide what happens next.

Just me, my passport, my luggage, my plans—and my FAITH.

For me, there was excitement, but there was also that quiet realization:

I am really doing this.

I was traveling across the world by myself.

And instead of that realization frightening me, something inside of me came alive.

I had spent so much of my life being responsible. I had been a mother, grandmother, educator, leader, businesswoman, community servant, caregiver, problem-solver and the person others could depend upon.

But somewhere between airports, passport stamps and unfamiliar destinations, I was simply “Charmin”.

Not a title.

Not a position.

Not someone’s answer.

Just me.

And I liked meeting her.

Bali: Where My Spirit Got Quiet Enough to Listen

Bali affected me differently.

There was beauty everywhere—the lush landscape, water, flowers, food, temples, rituals, architecture and an unmistakable reverence woven into everyday life.

But what captivated me most wasn’t simply what Bali looked like.

It was what Bali felt like.

There was something about slowing down in a place where spirituality, gratitude, nature and daily living seemed to coexist that invited me to become still.

I began paying attention differently.

I noticed mornings.

I noticed flowers.

I noticed water.

I noticed silence.

I noticed my breathing.

And most importantly, I noticed myself.

Sometimes we ask God for answers while simultaneously filling every available space with noise. We pray, but then we immediately return to schedules, responsibilities, phones, meetings, deadlines and obligations.

Bali created space.

And in that space, I began to understand that perhaps I hadn’t traveled halfway around the world simply to see something beautiful.

Maybe I had traveled that far so I could finally become quiet enough to hear something beautiful within myself.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10, KJV*

Those words took on a different meaning for me.

Stillness wasn’t the absence for movement,

Stillness was listening.

Phuket: Remembering That JOY Is Spiritual Too

Then came Thailand.

Phuket reminded me that Spiritual awakening doesn’t always happen while sitting quietly in meditation.

Sometimes awakening looks like JOY.

It looks like beautiful beaches, warm air, laughter, incredible food, discovering something new and allowing yourself to be fully present without feeling guilty about enjoying your life.

There is something wonderfully freeing about waking up somewhere beautiful and asking yourself:

What do I want to experience today?

Not what needs to be completed.

Not who needs me.

Not what problem needs solving.

What do “I” want to experience?

That question may sound simple, but for women who spend years caring, leading, producing and serving, it can be revolutionary.

Phuket reminded me that rest isn’t something I have to earn.

Joy isn’t irresponsible.

Pleasure isn’t something that must always be postponed until the work is finished.

There will always be more work.

There won’t always be this sunset.

So I learned to enjoy the sunset.

Bangkok: Confidence Looks Good on Me

Bangkok brought another energy entirely.

Movement. People. Food. Markets. Culture. Transportation. Sounds. Lights. Discovery.

And riding a Tuk-Tuk!

And there I was—navigating it.

Every successful airport transfer, every unfamiliar street, every currency exchange, every new food, every transportation decision and every interaction strengthened something in me.

My confidence.

There is an interesting thing that happens when you successfully navigate a foreign country alone.

You begin questioning some of the limitations you’ve placed on yourself at home.

If I can figure this out, what else have I been unnecessarily afraid to attempt?

If I can travel across the world, navigate airports, cultures, currencies and unfamiliar environments, perhaps there are other areas of my life where I’ve been waiting for reassurance I no longer need.

Solo travel taught me something important:

Confidence isn’t knowing exactly what is going to happen. Confidence is trusting yourself to respond when it does.

I Was Never Really Alone!

People hear “solo travel” and immediately focus on the word solo.

But one of my greatest realizations was that I never truly felt alone.

There were people to meet.

Conversations to have.

Cultures to learn from.

Moments of unexpected kindness.

And above all, there was the quiet assurance of the Divine’s presence.

I began understanding that being alone and being lonely are two completely different experiences.

Solitude can be sacred…

It creates room to examine your thoughts without someone else’s opinion immediately entering the conversation.

It allows you to eat when you’re hungry, rest when you’re tired, explore when you’re curious and change your plans simply because something else caught your attention.

You learn your own rhythm.

You learn what makes you uncomfortable.

You learn what excites you.

You learn what calms you.

You learn what you actually like when no one else’s preferences are influencing the answer.

That is a powerful kind of discovery.

I Left With Luggage. I Returned With Permission!

I returned from Bali and Thailand carrying souvenirs, photographs and memories.

But those weren’t the most valuable things I brought home.

I brought home permission.

Permission to travel.

Permission to rest.

Permission to explore.

Permission to experience beautiful things.

Permission to create boundaries around my peace.

Permission to pursue the desires God placed within me.

Permission to build a life that doesn’t require escaping from it in order to feel alive.

And perhaps most importantly, permission to continue becoming.

Travel didn’t magically erase life’s responsibilities, grief, challenges or uncertainties.

Instead, it reminded me that those things don’t have to be the entirety of my story.

There is still beauty to experience.

There are still places I haven’t seen.

There are still people I haven’t met.

There are still versions of myself I haven’t discovered.

The Regulated Traveler Was Born Somewhere Along the Way

Looking back, I can now see that this journey planted seeds.

Seeds that would eventually influence the way I think about international travel—not merely as tourism, but as an opportunity for rest, reflection, discovery, healing, spiritual renewal and intentional living.

I understand now why I don’t simply want to tell people where I’ve traveled.

I want to help other women believe that they can go too.

Especially the woman who has spent years taking care of everybody else.

The woman rebuilding after loss.

The woman entering a new season.

The woman who keeps saying, “One day.”

The woman who has a passport but hasn’t used it.

The woman who doesn’t have a passport yet because international travel still feels like something other people do.

I want her to know that there is a whole world waiting beyond what she already knows.

Because somewhere between Bali, Phuket and Bangkok, I discovered something that continues to shape the woman I am becoming:

I didn’t have to run away from my life.

I needed experiences that reminded me how deeply I wanted to live it!

I went across the world expecting an adventure.

I found excitement.

I found discovery.

I found stillness.

I found confidence.

I found joy.

I found God waiting for me in places I had never been.

And somewhere along the journey…

I found another piece of myself.

Travel beyond the destination. Return to yourself.

— Charmin Williams
A Charmin Williams Brand
Core Travels International